It’s Caesarean Awareness month! So before I (finally) finish Dillon’s birth story, I thought I would write a few words about my first two births. Seven years ago I had a spectacularly uneventful and healthy pregnancy with Boston. Aside from having to retake the glucose test, everything was great. Unfortunately I had a very good, but very assertive doctor and I did not take the time to educate myself enough on childbirth. Those two things combined are why, I believe, Boston ended up being a C-Section baby. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am proud of my pregnancies and births. C-Section, epidurals, natural, however that baby get safely into this world is amazing. What I don’t love is the fact that I felt pushed into decisions I regretted. I was induced 5 days early for no real reason, I was pressured to have the epidural immediately after they broke my water, I was made to lie on my side and not move for the entire day. None of these things encourage labor along at all. (But I didn’t know that that at the time.) I was loaded with pitocin and bedridden for about 10 hours before I was told it was time to push. I pushed for a few minutes before the Dr decided Boston just wasn’t coming. The nurse let me push while they got the OR ready and within the hour Boston was born via C-Section. It all happened so fast, even though there was no emergency. Looking back, its all very strange. When I could finally stop shaking and hold Boston, he immediately wanted to nurse and everything was right with the world.
I will admit that at times I have wondered if I my body just wasn’t up to the challenge and felt shame over the experience. Especially since Gage was born 19 months later via scheduled c-section because they didn’t entertain the idea of VBAC before 2 years. I thought that was just the way it was, so I didn’t look around and see if anyone would consider it. But at some point I decided I am not going to feel guilty over housing, nurturing and birthing 2 awesome little boys, just because it didn’t go the way I planned it.
Those experiences did help me plan better this last time around with Dillon. With learning more and finding a great practice in North Austin, the whole Doctor experience was a much more pleasant one. (I won’t get in to that now though, that’s part of Dillon’s story!)
Listen to your doctors, nurses, midwives, but don’t forget to listen to your body and let it do its thing. Pregnancy and birth are so beautiful. No matter how your child makes their debut.